In college, What did you think that you would be doing professionally , post-graduation?
Well I went to the college that I went to because they paid me to come and because my high school dean had told me that past fall to not even bother applying.
So I arrived having wanted to go the best school that I could get into and stay in the arts residential college and write stories and take photos and hang out and make out and figure out my life. I wanted to grow and create and find happiness and I wanted to be able to tell everyone back home ‘not only did I get in but they’re paying me to go here so fuck each and every one of you…’
As far as a quote-unquote ‘profession,’ How do you make money doing something besides law or medicine? I didn’t know.
And I took some pre-law courses but, to your question, I thought that I would be able to make some amount of money doing something creative having found myself.
Would that creative thing be grad school? Possibly.
Could it be at an Independent Weekly? I certainly hoped-so. Maybe that’s it, actually. I came into school as a journalism major – I probably hoped to be writing for The Boston Phoenix or The Chicago Reader or something. Maybe bartend a little bit for some extra cash…
Have your dreams changed?
Dreams? I suppose that they have and they haven’t.
They have in the sense that I’ve tried to shift away from the hollow and somewhat vague dream of being an ‘art kid/ cool kid’ out in the scene – known at all the right parties and attached to the right people and just, like, making it happen
My dreams haven’t changed in the sense that I want to do what feels comfortable
Once I figure that out.
I suppose that my dream is still to figure out that I’d like to be doing – what the best fit is.
Are you where you want to be? Are you closer to your dreams or further away?
Well, after graduation when I was in sales training, one of the questions that we were asked was
‘How much money would you like make?’
I came up with a number that I thought was high but reachable and 10 years later (and not that less than 10 jobs later) I make that number.
That means that I’m comfortable: I own a house; I have a lovely and supportive partner; I’m sober; my crippling depression is medicated.
I could tell you that I’m farther away from where I want to be because Weekly Independents are a shell of themselves.
But I don’t think that I’m farther away from getting where I want to go. I think I’m probably in a more stable and clear position to move forward and actively figure that out.
Hopefully, this will help me travel farther down the path of self-discovery, now that I’m out of the muck.
The Ride's On Fire 